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June, 2012
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 Conduct Matters
Handling the imperfections of perfectionists
How to turn critical micromanagers into collaborative colleagues

I have a colleague who is a perfectionist, which I realize is common here at Hopkins. Whenever we work on a project together, she seems compelled to improve and extend the work beyond the scope that I think is necessary. Instead, she gets buried in minutiae and micromanages the project. Although she behaves as if she knows everything, I think she may simply feel threatened by ideas that aren't her own. Because she is also the most senior member of our team, I frequently feel that she is patronizing me and does not respect my ideas and input. Sometimes her criticism is harsh and makes me feel under attack. What can I do to be perceived as an equal peer in our work together?

You describe someone who has a driving need to analyze and get things right. In the extreme, she may also desire to achieve perfection in all things. Such a person may thrive when dealing with data and detail. In your interactions with her, you would do well to start with data and get your facts straight rather than ask open-ended questions and speculate about possibilities.

You can also try using more hypothetical words like "perhaps" and "maybe." Ask more questions. Consider presenting alternatives in a way that allows the perfectionist to decide for herself. For example, I share your skepticism regarding vitamin supplements, but what if we…? is an approach which will get you farther than, It is time that we accept that vitamin supplements are …

By reframing your viewpoint and treating the perfectionist as a mentor rather than a colleague on certain topics, your ideas will be less likely to offend her self-image. Remember that perfectionism can often mask insecurity. Praise and supportive comments may unlock a more receptive attitude towards your suggestions for revisions. Then you can point out the merits of various levels of outcomes and also suggest that all work needn't always be at the A+ level.

When you think that the perfectionist has criticized others inappropriately, try the following:

  • Speak privately with her as soon as possible after the event. Tell her that while you know she did not mean to be harsh, her comments sounded that way to you.
  • You can also reach out to the person who was the target of her criticism. Together you can discuss ways to diffuse such situations and regain a sense of control in dealing with the perfectionist.

If you are the one whom the perfectionist is challenging:

  • Offer reassurance by restating her complaint in a positive manner. For example, if she aggressively dismisses you with I know you don't think X is important, or I know you really want to engage in a discussion of X, but too bad! you might say, I do care, or I do want to discuss X with you, but I would prefer to do so without damaging our collaboration or/raising our voices/yelling/feeling attacked. (Insert the appropriate description of what you are experiencing in the most positive way you can.)
  • Make a personal statement about what you really want: I would ask that you just consider this perspective before you make a judgment. Or I would like this discussion to be calmer and a little less stressful/confrontational.
  • Suggest a break to cool down or a civil way to proceed: I would like to feel like a partner in this process rather than a problem. Or I know I do not have the same seniority or experience that you do, but I would like to be treated as a valued colleague.

The best approach to someone who overanalyzes is to commit to her need for perfection by helping her "get it right" at the highest level while also maintaining that perfection isn't always called for. When you remember that the goal is to do the right thing and avoid error, you realize that your analytical colleague is an important person to have on the team, especially when she drives the work in a direction that is not only accurate but positive.

The University has resources for those seeking help or guidance navigating a personal relationship at work. To speak with a counselor confidentially, contact the Faculty and Staff Assistance Program (FASAP) at: (443) 287-7000 or (443) 997-7000.

If you would like to learn more about communicating better at work, the Office of Faculty Development has a variety of coursework available at http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/fac_development/ or by calling 410-502-5521.

 
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