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March, 2012
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 Conduct Matters
Ten approaches for a more civil workplace

I remember reading an article in Judith Martin’s Miss Manners column titled “I think, therefore I thank.” It said that human beings are at a higher level of existence than animals because we have the ability to help each other, be grateful for that help, express gratitude, and develop good manners and a code of civility to govern society. Is there such a thing as a code of polite behavior that can govern our interaction in the workplace today?

Hopkins’ own P.M. Forni has written a book on this topic called Choosing Civility: the 25 Rules of Considerate Conduct. His first 10 rules are adapted here, along with some advice on how you may apply these principles at work.

  1. Pay attention - Adapt your behavior to the environment. If people look bored, limit your remarks. If someone seems agitated, ask them what is wrong and offer help. If someone is crying or sneezing, hand them a tissue.
  2. Acknowledge others - Greet people by their name, not their function. When you achieve something special, share the glory. Write a note to your team to acknowledge the important role they played in this success.
  3. Listen - One of the greatest gifts that you can give another human being is to acknowledge that they have something of value to say by listening to them. True “listening” is not the same thing as waiting for your turn to speak. It involves listening with the intent to understand and respond to what that individual has said.
  4. Be inclusive – Welcome your new colleague with an invitation to lunch or coffee. Find something in his or her background that is a link to something in yours. Include people in meetings to help them learn new areas of work. Be sure not to create a clique of people who are together just because they have been around the longest.
  5. Speak constructively - Be tactful and never represent others in a negative light. When giving feedback, use non-judgmental terms: “This won’t work” feels like an attack compared with “I know you have tried to make this work, but there are still a few issues to be addressed.”
  6. Gossip hurts - Gossip is inappropriate and divisive. It creates a negative environment that ultimately harms everyone. If someone’s work or behavior fails to measure up to the agreed upon standard, speak to them directly first and in private. If that doesn’t work, find them help from another source. When people attempt to gossip to you ask, “How do you think we can help that person?”
  7. Provide better feedback - Praise in public, criticize in private. Well-formed praise includes details about what it is that is praise worthy; it is more than just “good job,” and it is personal. If you find yourself criticizing others too much examine your motives. Are you really trying to improve the quality of their work, or is your ego getting the better of you?
  8. Respect even a subtle “No” - Try to respect others’ time and space and don’t impose on them. Get agreements about roles and responsibilities up front, and hold people accountable, but don’t make unreasonable demands.
  9. Respect others’ opinions - One person can’t possibly know everything. Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that will happen if I am wrong?” Other people bring valuable perspectives that are likely to be shared by someone else among your patients or colleagues. Consider how you might adapt your work to satisfy a different point of view. It is very likely that in many cases, your work will be improved in the process.
  10. Think the best of people - Assume that others have positive motives, not negative ones. If you have evidence to the contrary, seek more information about their intent. Remember that you are judging their outside behavior by your internal values, attitudes, opinions and beliefs, all things that they can’t know about you unless they know you well. Consultant and author Richard Carlson has offered, “We often find ourselves comparing our insides to everyone else's outsides.” Strive first to build a better relationship with others in order to better understand their perspective.

If you would like to learn more about communicating better at work, the Office of Faculty Development has a variety of coursework available at http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/fac_development/ or by calling 410-502-5521.

 
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